The Gundam Pilots in Tights
by icie1
Summary: GW Parody of Robin Hood: Men in Tights. My first fanfic!!!! 1x2, 3x4, and 5x13!!! YAOI!!


pilotstights

Heero- Robin Hood  
Duo- Maid Marion  
Quatre- Will Scarlet  
Trowa- Little John  
Wufei- Achoo  
Trieze- Blinkin  
Zechs- King Richard  
Noin- The Abbot  
Sally- The guy who say's Hey Abbot!!  
Relena- Prince John  
Dorothy- The guy with the pet lizard named Charlie  
Henchmen 1  
Henchmen 2 (These 2 guys go with Dorothy)  
Hilde- Sheriff of Rottingham  
Catherine- Brunehilda  
Dr. J- The Rabbi  
Lady Une- Charlie the lizard  
Mike the T.V.- The announcer  
  
  
I do not own Gundam Wing or Robin Hood Men in Tights. Please don't sue me I'm very broke. This is yaoi (boy/boy love) if you don't like it read no further!! There will be kissing, hugging, and making between Duo and Heero, and Quatre and Trowa. This won't be a lemon. Please email me and tell me if you like it!! If you don't like it and email me, the emails will be laughed at!! By the way, I'[m doing most of this from memory, so if some parts aren't exactly like the movie, I couldn't remember that scene. Oh, yeah!! All the character will be dressed as who they are playing. Duo will wear dresses cause he's maid Marion. Hilde will be wearing that black thing the Sheriff wears in the movie, etc. Enjoy!!   
  
I guess the story is rated PG maybe PG-13   
  
....and so my story begins....  
  
(I'm skipping the first scenes, the jail scenes, because it's boring.)  
  
.....and so the story really begins...  
  
The scene opens to a stained glass window. Through which we can hear the song It's so All Right being sung by a happy young man. Suddenly the song stops.  
  
OH!!! OOHHH!!! YES!!!! YES!!! YES!!!!!! cries the voice of the young man.   
  
His handmaiden rushes into the room.  
  
Lady Duo!! What's wrong??... she stares at the boy in the bathtub ...oh...Lady Duo how many times must I tell you not to use the herbal essences shampoo?  
  
Duo looks at his handmaiden. But...but...but...but Catherine!! he whines It's my favorite shampoo!!  
  
Prince Relena is going to think you're doing impure things. Catherine said sternly.  
  
Duo stood up angrily putting on his robe and stepping out of the bathtub.  
  
How can I with this? he asked gesturing at his chastity belt.  
Oh, Duo, someday you'll find you're true love.  
All I want is the key. These things are damn uncomfortable!  
Catherine gasped. Lady Duo!! Watch your language!! It's not proper for a young lady to speak like that!  
  
Duo blinks confused.  
  
I'm not a lady.  
You'll behave like one though!! Catherine cries dramatically. King Zechs requested that I teach you to be a proper lady.  
Does King Zechs know I'm a boy?   
Ummm...I really don't know...I would assume he does, but he was very mysterious wearing that mask like that, you could never tell when he was thing because you couldn't see his eyes....   
  
Duo walked over to the window letting Catherine talk to herself. A little blue bird is sitting on the window sill. Duo gasps happily.  
  
Look!! A happy little blue bird!!   
  
Duo picks the little bird up cooing at it. Catherine looks over to see Duo playing the bird and rushes over to him and takes the bird away.  
  
No!! Don't touch it!! You don't know where it's been!! she throws the bird out the window. It might have rabies or some other disease!!  
  
Duo crossed his arms angrily as he plopped onto his bed pouting.  
  
I never to get have any fun!  
  
  
****************************************   
  
In another corner of this magical fanfic land, Heero Yuy is riding to the bridge on his trusty steed, Wing Zero, with his two trusty sidekicks, Wufei and his not-really-blind-servant(who is now a trusty sidekick)Trieze. They soon come to the bridge only too find that to cross they must pay a toll, or answer to the tall mysterious boy with half his face covered by a unibang. Heero pays no heed to the toll, dismounts and walks up to the unibang boy.  
  
We wish to cross. Heero said in his usual monotone.  
said the unibang boy.  
I'm crossing now.  
  
  
  
Heero starts to cross the bridge only to find a gun pointing to his forehead. A small blonde boy runs out of the bushes and pulls the unibang boys arm away from Heero's forehead.  
  
No, Trowa! We can't shoot people, we have to ask them to pay the toll. the blonde boy looks at Heero. Please pay the toll, sir.  
  
  
  
The blonde boy gasps and his eyes fill with tears as he points an accusing finger at Heero. You're mean. he said in a trembly voice.  
  
The one the blonde boy called Trowa suddenly looks angry, and wraps a protective arm around his companion.  
  
You made Quatre cry.   
  
Tears won't make me pay the toll  
  
Trowa ignores Heero and comforts Quatre.  
  
There, there little one. he said petting Quatre's blonde hair. Then he looks at Heero. Go get me the sticks.  
  
Quatre gives Heero an evil look, then runs into the bushes again, coming out carrying two fighting sticks. He handed one to Trowa and one to Heero.  
  
If you beat me you can cross the bridge.  
Heero already peeved by the fact that the two strangers had ignored him moments ago was ready to fight.  
  
he said in what would be called menacing for someone who speaks in a monotone all the time.  
  
The two begin to fight. Quatre cheering Trowa on from the side. The fight continues for several minutes longer, when suddenly, the sticks break in half. Trowa and Heero both look at the sticks strangely, then toss one half of the stick away and fight with the half they are holding. The fight continues this way for several minutes longer when suddenly, the sticks break in half yet again!! They toss one half away an fight with the really small pieces smacking each others hands and heads. Heero pokes Trowa in the chest and Trowa falls off the bridge into the three inch deep water. Trowa freezes up in the water unmoving. Heero stares at him for a few moments, then looks at Quatre.  
  
What's wrong with him?  
  
Oh! Not again!!  
  
Quatre walks to Trowa and pulls him out of the water. Trowa latches onto Quatre shaking.  
  
Calm down. Your weren't drowning. I wouldn't let you drown.  
was Trowa's response.  
  
Heero stares at them confused. Wufei walks up to him pulling Treize. Treize lifts the glasses so he can see what's happening. Trowa and Quatre realize that they are being observed and jump apart, then stand up.  
  
Who are you? Heero asks.  
I'm Quatre Raberba Winner, and this is Trowa. He smiles sweetly, while Trowa puts a possessive arm around his waist. Who are you?  
I'm Heero Yuy. These are my trusty sidekicks, Wufei, and this is my not-really-blind-servant(who is now a trusty sidekick)Trieze.  
Nice to meet you.  
Trowa said politely to them.  
  
Heero and his companions stare at them strangely.  
  
We have to be leaving now. said Heero and moved to cross the bridge.  
  
Trowa pointed a gun at him.  
  
You still have to pay the toll. said Quatre.  
  
Heero looked at them.  
  
I see you have a gun....interesting...I have a gun too! pulls out his gun and points it at them enthusiastically.  
  
They stood like that for several minutes just holding guns at each other. Then Heero shot a bullet at Quatre. Everyone on the set, and a few not on the set gasped. Quatre whipped out some knives from hammerspace and turned the bullets into bullet dust. Everyone stares in shock. Quatre and Trowa smile.  
  
We used to be in the circus. I would through knives at Trowa, but I never hit him.  
  
Trowa smiles lovingly at Quatre. Heero looks at them.  
I'm going to raid the castle tonight to make Prince Relena give up the throne she usurped from her brother, the good King Zechs. Will you help me? Heero looks very dramatic throughout his speech.  
  
Trowa and Quatre exchange a meaningful glance.  
  
We'll help you!! Quatre cried.  
  
  
***************************************   
  
Sheriff Hilde was dozing off on Prince Relena's shoulder.   
  
This is soooo boring.... said Prince Relena.  
Stupid mime. mumbles Hilde, and shoots the mime.  
What did you do that for! He was the only entertainment!! You baka!  
Stupid mime.   
  
They were both rather drunk. Suddenly, the room is lit up by the beautiful presence of Lady Duo. Everyone in the room stops what they are doing, and all sound ceases. Sheriff Hilde looks at Duo lecherously, then stands up and helps him to his seat.   
  
Good evening, Lady. Hilde said suavely.  
  
Duo gave Hilde and appraising glance then turned his nose into the air.  
  
Catherine says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.  
  
Hilde smiles and gives Duo's hand a very sloppy, slobbery kiss.  
  
We're hardly strangers. Hilde begins reciting all the times that they had met before, and doesn't notice the disgusted look that Duo gives his hand before wiping it on the table cloth.   
  
Suddenly!! The big wooden doors to the hall opened with a loud banging noise. And the five palace-raiders came in looking heroic with the background music, and the right poses . They walked up to the table where Prince Relena sat, still very heroic looking.  
  
We have come to make you return the throne you have usurped to the good King Zechs!! cried Heero.  
  
echoed his four companions.  
  
Duo stared at the handsome boy who was leading the other four. He sighed happily. He'd never seen perfection like this before. He was perfect! And Duo knew it was love at first sight.   
  
  
**********************************   
  
A beautiful boy sitting on the right side of the Prince caught his eye. He was beautiful!! From the voilet-blue eyes, to the long chestnut hair. And Heero knew it was love at first sight.  
  
He walked over to him roguishly.  
  
And who might you be?  
Duo. Duo Maxwell, I run, I hide, but I never tell a lie.  
Tales of your beauty have been told far and wide. But they do you no justice.  
  
Duo blushed charmingly, and giggled, staring adoringly at Heero.  
  
What's your name?  
Heero Yuy.  
  
Heero took Duo's hand as if to kiss it, but instead pulled him forward and gave him a passionate, soul searing, French kiss. Hilde spluttered as she watched them go at it. Heero pulled away from Duo looking dazedly into sparkling amethyst eyes.   
  
Duo murmured sounding as dazed as Heero felt.  
  
Heero just nodded as they stared soulfully into each others eyes. Hilde got tired of watching Heero flirt with Duo and through an apple at Heero. The apple bounced off Heero's head. Duo gasped and Heero turned angrily to Hilde.  
  
How dare you. He said in a monotone.  
You stay away from Duo! He's mine!! She cried.  
I'm not yours!! Duo yelled at Hilde, then turned to Heero. I'm single, by the way.  
I'll fight for you!! cried Heero heroically.   
Oh! Heero!! cried Duo, putting his hands on his cheeks while he swooned.  
  
Relena stood up and cleared her throat, and picked up a baked potato.  
FOOD FIGHT!!!!  
  
Food flew everywhere! Quatre got covered in whipped cream, when one of the castle guards got carried away with the whipped cream. Trowa was covered in chocolate sauce from a situation like Quatre's. They looked at each other and smiled, then went off to find a room. Duo ducked under the table to keep from getting covered in food.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Heero was fighting heroically, but when the guards starting throwing cookies at him he ducked under the table. The cookies were hard and they hurt when they hit him.   
  
  
  
Heero looked up to find himself face to face with Duo.   
  
  
  
Duo smiled at him.  
  
You were so brave!!  
  
  
Heero pulled Duo forward for another kiss. Their kiss soon turned into a steamy makeout session. They were interrupted all to soon by Catherine.  
  
Duo! There you are!!  
  
She pulled him away from Heero, and toward the stairs. Heero rolled out of the table to watch Duo until he was out of his line of sight.  
  
I've been looking all over for you!! Are you hurt?  
Mmm...no, I'm fine. he smiled dreamily Heero protected me.   
Bedtime for you!  
  
Duo sighed.  
  
Sure...I can dream of Heero.   
  
Duo giggled and sighed again as we was led to his room.  
  
  
***************************************   
  
Heero began throwing anything at the guards. Finally, he just shot them, but found that Prince Relena and Sheriff Hilde had disappeared.  
  
He swore and looked around for his companions. Quatre and Trowa walked up to him looking very disheveled. Wufei and Trieze's hair clothing also looked disorderly. He sighed frustrated.  
  
We were supposed to raid the castle, not makeout.   
I didn't see you complaining when you were under that table with the Lady Duo. snapped Wufei.  
I didn't see anything at all. said Trieze.  
  
Heero frowned at them.  
  
The next raid will be more thought out. he motioned for them to follow him.  
Let's go.  
  
  
**************************************   
  
The Sheriff Hilde was in her favorite scary tower talking to a mysterious girl with creepy, pronged eyebrows. The strange girl stroked her pet lizard as she looked at Hilde. The two men who followed her hid in the corners talking into their sleeves.  
  
What did you bring me here for Hilde?   
I need your help yet again, Dorothy.  
  
Dorothy smiled evilly.  
  
Who do you want killed this time?  
  
Heero Yuy. He's trying to steal the fair Duo away from me.  
  
Hilde looked at the ugly lizard in Dorothy's arms.  
  
Umm...Is your lizard well? It's not moving.  
What? Lady Une is an old lizard.  
Dorothy picks up Lady Une and coos at her then makes a disgusted face and puts her down.  
  
Lady Une has bad breath.   
  
She put Lady Une on the table and looked at Hilde Seriously.  
  
We need some sort of a plan to lure Heero Yuy to the palace. Then my men can take care of him.  
  
Hilde thought for a moment.  
  
We can use a shooting contest to lure him to the palace!! BWAHAHHAAA!!  
said Dorothy looking at Hilde nervously.  
Dorothy snapped her fingers and her two secret service guys were at her side.   
  
Dude one, you are in this tower and shoot Heero Yuy when he's at the palace. Dude two, you're in the contest.  
  
Both of the dudes nod and escort Dorothy to her gold limo.  
  
They'll be back tomorrow for the shooting contest.  
  
Then she was gone. Hilde stood up and looked around the room.  
  
Duo will be mine!! WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Duo gasped in horror as he heard what Hilde planned to do to his darling Heero.  
  
I won't let her! he cried, and ran into the room to the bed and shook Catherine awake.   
  
Catherine!! CATHERINE!!  
What? Why'd you have to wake me up at this ungodly hour? You're not taking a bath.  
Catherine, Sheriff Hilde is planning to do a dastardly deed!! She's going to have a shooting contest and lure Heero here and kill him!! We have to go warn Heero!  
But it's the middle of the night. What if he's sleeping?  
He won't mind me waking him up. Duo said with a smirk Besides the contest is tomorrow!  
Catherine relented. But how do we get out?  
We go out the window. Come on!!  
  
Duo put on his dressing gown and ran out on the baloney. Catherine followed him out fully dressed and looking very grumpy.  
  
How do we get down? We can't jump, you know.  
I know. he whistled.   
  
A black horse came trotting around the castle to the window. Duo climbed up on the railing, then jumped off, landing perfectly on his horse. He looked back up at Catherine.  
  
I'm going on ahead! Catch up!  
  
Duo went galloping off into the night. Catherine huffed and whistled. A white horse came trotting around the side of the castle. Catherine jumped off and while she rode off after Duo, performed circus tricks on the back of her horse.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Heero and his four somewhat merry companions heard a horse coming. He looked up to find his vision filled the with the lovely Duo. Heero brightened and went over to him to help him off his horse.  
  
  
  
Duo, what are you doing here?  
Oh, Heero! Sheriff Hilde is going to try to kill you! Promise me you'll stay away from the castle.  
I promise.  
Oh, good! She was going to try to lure you to there with a shooting contest.  
  
Duo leans toward Heero for a kiss, but Heero turns his head.  
  
A shooting contest?  
Promise you won't go, my love!  
Alright, I promise you won't go.  
Oh, thank you...wait--  
  
Heero kissed him hard. They break apart and gaze soulfully into each other's eyes for a few minutes as Catherine rode up to them. Heero was just about to kiss Duo again when Catherine cleared her throat. Both looked disappointed and kind of annoyed. Trowa stared at Catherine in shock.  
  
Catherine. Where have you been?  
  
  
Catherine jumped off her horse and hugged her brother.  
  
I went to work at the palace and became Lady Duo's handmaiden.  
My long lost sister.  
My long lost brother.  
Meet my boyfriend. Trowa pulled Quatre to his side.  
Quatre said cautiously.  
  
Catherine stared at them for a few seconds and then fainted. Duo and Heero ran off into the forest while Catherine was still fainted. Trowa patted his sister's cheek.  
  
  
Is she dead?  
I didn't think she'd take it this well.  
Trowa...she's waking up. She looks mad.  
Let's let her cool off.  
  
Trowa and Quatre ran off to their tent. The tent was very small, but that was the way they liked it. They took advantage of the situation and stared lovingly into each other's eyes.  
  
I love you, Trowa.  
I love you too, Quatre.  
  
They stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes longer then they kissed passionately, and the scene in the tent fades to black and opens again to a similar scene in Treize and Wufei's tent, the scene fades to black, only to open again to show Duo and Heero walking through the forest. They stop and stare into each other's eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Duo, you're shivering. What are you wearing under that dressing down.  
Practically nothing. Duo said blushing.  
  
  
Heero pulls Duo to him and they become engaged in a passionate kiss. Heero moves to press himself fully against Duo----  
  


***BANG***   


  
Heero's eyes water in the excruciating pain. Duo looks shocked and embarrassed.  
  
Except that.  
  
Heero moans in pain.  
  
It's my chastity belt. It's an ever last.  
  
But don't worry Darling! For it is written in the stars that someone possess's the key that will unlock it.  
  
As Duo speaks he gazes in the sky as if he's reading it. Heero glances around the sky confused. They look at each other.  
  
Oh, Duo, if only it twer me.  
Oh! If it twer you twould be...tweriffic!  
  
They lean together to kiss again, and are interrupted by Catherine.  
  
It's time to go, Duo.  
  
Duo sighed, and looked at Heero longingly. Both lean together for a kiss, but Catherine clears her throat. Duo pouts and and gets on his horse, then looks at Heero.  
  
Farewell, my love!  
  
  
Heero watched Duo ride away, then went to his tent to get a disguise.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
"And here we are!! Almost everybody in the Kingdom here to watch the shooting contest!! Okay!! Let's get started!!! We have only two participants!! The first is Dude two, the second is Ima Lump. And heeeeeeeere wweeeeeee goooooooooo!!! yelled the announcer. Dude two, you're up! Take your mark.....and shoot!!  
  
Dude two shot a bullet at the target and it hit it dead center. Dude two smiles and bows to the cheering crowd.  
  
What a shot!!! Alright!! Your turn Ima Lump!! Take your mark!!! and shoot!!!  
  
Ima Lump (who is really Heero Yuy in disguise) shoots a bullet at the target, and it splits dude two's bullet in half. Hilde stood up.  
  
Well done.....Heero Yuy.  
  
Duo gasps dramatically. Heero flashes Duo a smile and rips off the disguise. Duo swoons and sighs dreamily.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Up on the palace walls Heero's somewhat merry companions sneak to the tower where dude one is.  
  
He's pulling the trigger!!  
I can't see!!  
NO JUSTICE!!!  
  
We have to stop him!!  
If I could see him I would.  
NO JUSTICE!!!! DISHONOR!!!  
.....little one, throw your knives.  
  
  
Quatre throws a handful of knives at dude one and stops him from killing Heero.  
  
We did it!!  
I wish I could have seen it.  
NO JUSTICE!! DISHONOR!! DISHONOR ON YOU ALL!!!  
  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Guards! Arrest that man!!  
Duo yells standing up.  
Hilde asks amused. Who's going to stop me?  
If you promise to let Heero go, I'll do the most disgusting I can think of.   
And that would be?  
I'll marry you. Duo said bravely.  
No!! Duo don't do it!! My life's not worth it!!  
  
Duo looked at Heero sadly.  
  
You'll marry me? You'll be mine forever? You'll give yourself to me every night? And sometimes after lunch?  
Yes. But only my body. Duo looked at Heero. You will never have my heart.  
That's fine with me! Hilde crows happily.  
  
Hilde grabs Duo and holds him to her side. Prince Relena stood up.  
  
Hear ye!! Hear ye!! Today there will be a wedding!! Or a hanging!! Hey! Either way, it's gonna be a lot of fun!!  
  
  
**********************************   
  
They're going to hang Heero if Duo doesn't marry the Sheriff!! Quatre cried in horror.  
I can't see.  
HANGING IS FOR THE WEAK!!  
.....we must save him....  
Poor Duo.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Abbot Noin walked up the aisle leading the couple to be married. Duo walked up the aisle trying to hold back tears. Hilde keeping a firm grip on his arm.   
  
Hey! Abbot!! yelled a girl with strange pigtails.  
I hate that kid! hissed Noin.  
  
To the side Duo saw the hanging platform, and Heero in a noose.  
  
What's going on?  
Just in case you change your mind, my dear.  
  
They reached the alter and Abbot Noin opened a little black book.  
  
We'll be opening with new pig-latin wedding book. she cleared her throat. Early-day Eloveds-bay. Ee-way ree-ay athered-gay ere-hay oo-tay itness-way he-tay oining-jay f-oay ese-thay----screw this!!! Noin cried and threw the book off the set. Do you Hilde take Duo to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and health, in life and in dea---  
Yes, I do!! Just get on with it.  
  
Noin raises an eyebrow and turns to Duo.  
  
Duo, do you take her to be your wife?  
  
  
Duo looks at Heero.  
  
  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Little did they know that at that very moment Heero's somewhat merry companions were rushing to get to them as fast as they could.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
I.......I.......I d...  
  
Suddenly Heero's somewhat merry companions rush up. Quatre throws a knife at the noose, freeing Heero.  
  
I don't! Yelled Duo joyfully.  
  
Hilde looked Duo shocked.  
  
Damn them!! Hilde screeched They ruined my plans!!  
  
A Battle broke out between Heero, his somewhat merry companions and the castle guards. Hilde got an idea even more dastardly than the first and shoved Duo onto the alter then wrapped him up in the table cloth.  
  
You'll be mine whether we're married or not!!  
  
Hilde picked up Duo, slung him over his shoulder and carried him up to her bedroom, which was in another scary tower.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
cried Quatre pointing to the wall where Hilde was running carrying a kicking screaming Duo.  
yelled Heero.  
yelled Wufei shaking his fist. YOU HAVE NO HONOR!!! NO JUSTICE!!! I still can't see.  
..go after him Heero.  
Don't lose him forever.  
...we can handle the guards.  
  
Heero nodded to them and ran after Hilde. I'm coming, Duo!' he thought as he ran as fast as he could to the tower.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
When they reached the bedroom in the tower, Hilde threw Duo down onto the bed.  
  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! You're mine!!  
  
Hilde ran over the bed and jumped on Duo, then began ripping his wedding gown off. When Hilde ripped the skirt off she stopped in shock and stared.  
  
A chastity belt? She cried dismayed.  
It's an ever last. There's only one key that will unlock it, too. Duo said gleefully making face. Nyah! Nyah!!  
This is just a minor setback. she thought for a moment. I'll be right back!  
  
Hilde ran into her closet and came out carrying a jack hammer. She stood over Duo on the bed and turned on the jack hammer.  
  
P-p-p-ro-ob-ob-lem-em sol-ol-ved!!   
  
  
**********************************   
  
As Heero neared the bed room he heard something that sounded like a jack hammer. Hn. She must have found out about his chastity belt.' he thought as he threw open the door with bang. Duo looked over at him from the bed.  
  
He cried happily.  
Hilde yelled, turning off the jack hammer and throwing it off the set.  
Let Duo go! Heero cried.  
You'll have to kill me first! Hilde yelled as she jumped off the bed and pulled out her gun. On guard!  
Thanks for the warning. Heero said pulling out his gun.  
  
They shot volley after volley of shots at each other all of the missing. On the bed Duo shrieked and covered his head. Heero and Hilde shot at each other, not once hitting the other. This went on for a few minutes, and Duo getting bored(and tired of playing the damsel in distress)decided to take action. He sat up on the bed and straightened his hair.  
  
Oi! Hilde!! He called.  
  
Hilde answered slightly annoyed, and was distracted long enough that Heero was able to push her out the window. Heero looked over to Duo and smiled. He walked over to him on the bed and sat down next to him. Duo gazed at him lovingly.  
  
My hero! He cried with his hands on his cheeks.  
  
  
  
  
  
Will you marry me, Duo?  
Yes but you don't have the key. We can't get this damn thing off.  
We don't really need a key.  
What do you mean?  
  
Heero pulled out his gun and put it to the lock on Duo's chastity belt.  
  
I'll shoot the lock off.  
Oh! Heero!  
  
Heero was just about to shoot off the lock when Catherine interrupted them. Again.  
  
She yelled. You have to be married first!  
  
Heero and Duo exchanged a glance, then shrugged and stood up. Duo pulled sheet around himself, and they walked to the town square where the Dr.J had a circumcision shop. He also did quick marriages.  
  
Dr. J!! Heero yelled.   
  
An old man's head peeked from behind the curtains.  
  
What do you want?  
We wish to be married quickly!  
Married quickly! How wonderful!  
  
He rushed out of the curtains to stand behind a table.  
  
Heero do you?  
I do.  
and Duo, do you?  
I definitely do!  
I now pronounce you man and ma--  
  
  
A tall man wearing a mask with a crown on top walked up to them. The entire crowd bowed.  
  
Your majesty. Heero and Duo said, bowing.  
Arise Heero and Duo. He smiled at them Heero, thank you for stopping Hilde from marrying Duo. Kneel.   
  
Zechs pulled out a sword and rested it on Heero's left shoulder, then moved it to his right.  
  
And arise, Sir Heero.  
Oh! Heero!! You're my knight in shiny armor!!  
Heero said with a small smile.  
  
Dr. J looked at him confused.  
  
Why if you like this guy so much do you want me to stop?  
I haven't given them my blessing yet! It's my duty as king. he said importantly.  
  
Dr. J stared at him blankly. King Zechs looked at Heero and Duo and grinned.  
  
You have my blessing. Now you may marry them.  
  
Dr. J looked annoyed, but turned to the couple and said.  
  
I know pronounce you man and man. You may kiss each other.  
  
Heero and Duo kissed.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
In the crowd his four somewhat merry companions watch.  
  
That's so romantic. Quatre said tearfully.  
We could get married next, little one.  
Really, Trowa?  
  
Trowa nods smiling his special smile that's only for Quatre.  
  
I'm so happy! Quatre cries as he hugged and kissed Trowa.  
  
I can't see.  
Take off the stupid glasses you're wearing! Wufei cried annoyed because Trieze had been complaining all day.  
  
Treize took off the glasses and gasped.  
  
I can see! It's a miracle.  
  
Wufei ignored Trieze, and watched the wedding.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
Heero and Duo rode off together into the sunset (but not literally, because that would be too painful.)on Wing Zero. There were cans and a sign on the back of the horse that said Just Married.  
  
  
**********************************   
  
They walked into the Duo's room and Heero laid Duo gently on his bed. Heero pulled out his gun and put is to the lock on the chastity belt.  
  
  
I've been ready since I met you. Duo murmured lovingly.   
  
Heero pulled the trigger, and shot the lock off. He took the chastity belt off Duo and threw it off the set. He gazed lovingly into Duo's eyes, then leaned forward and kissed him passionately.  
  
I love you. Duo said caressing Heero's cheek.  
Heero murmured running his fingers through Duo's long resplendent, silky chestnut locks.  
  
Heero pushed the sheet off Duo and kissed him again as the scene fades to black.  
  
  
*****************The End*****************


End file.
